


Won't Let Go

by lilaussieauthor, theauthenticme



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Toni is a therapist, Toni is an amazing friend, Veronica Lodge Needs a Hug, Veronica Lodge is sad, ansgt, choni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-12 21:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19237003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilaussieauthor/pseuds/lilaussieauthor, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthenticme/pseuds/theauthenticme
Summary: Toni helps Veronica to accept and deal with a traumatic event in her life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a really emotional piece to write. It mentions some quite heavy topics, particularly in chapter 2.

  
Veronica had planned to meet Toni for lunch. Not that she felt hungry, she felt anything but, but she hoped seeing her friend would help. She waited at the restaurant, her leg bouncing as she checked her phone. Toni wasn't usually late.

Toni walked in a minute later, her hair all everywhere and her face flustered. " _So_ sorry, Ronnie... god, Cheryl was freaking out because Liv's got a concert tonight and apparently neither of them were ready... not sure what Cher's gotta be ready for but enough about me! Let's order, how have you been?" Her words fell out in a tumble and she laughed softly. "Sorry... I'm a bit of a mess."

"No worries" she smiled tightly at her friend. "And for the record, you're never a mess Toni. I hope the concert goes well. Is she singing again?"

Toni nodded. "Thanks. Dyou wanna come? She'd love to have her favorite Aunt Ronnie there."

"Oh! Yes! That would be really nice..thank you.."

"Of course! She'll be so excited... and you might do a better job than me calming Cheryl down from whatever emotional rollercoaster she's on at the moment."

"I can give it my best shot" she shrugged. Not that she felt in any position to be calming anyone down right now.

Toni grinned. "Lifesaver... anyway, what's been going on with you? It feels like we haven't seen eachother for ages."

"Nothing of note" she dismissed with the wave of her hand. "What about you?"

"Just told you," Toni chuckled. "Mainly just Liv and work and Cher and work and work and work... you? Surely something's going on?"

"Work sounds busy. I can't think of anything else worth mentioning" she shrugged.

Toni frowned, trying something else instead. "How's life as a single woman? Living your best life?"

"Yeah, something like that" she laughed, although she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Toni reached across the table, taking Veronica's hand. "Is something up V? I've known you for 14 years now..."

"I guess being single just isn't all it's cracked up to be" she shrugged.

Toni nodded. "In what way?"

Veronica rubbed her temples as her elbows hit the table. "Ignore me..I'm fine. We should probably order.." she picked up her menu, handing a second one to Toni.

Toni nodded, narrowing her eyes at Veronica as her therapist mind went into overdrive. “Uh... I’m gonna have the Caesar salad... and a mineral water... you?” She was sure something was up with her friend.

"That sounds good, I'll have what she's having.." she signaled to her friend as the waiter wrote down their order.

Toni raised an eyebrow. “I - Okay. Sure. Um... so what’s going on in the work world?”

"Work? It's okay I guess. Busy ... stressful ... as I'm sure yours is too." It was easier if the focus was not on her.

Toni was a therapist. She knew all the tactics Veronica was using right now and she also knew all the counter tactics. “Stressful, huh? In what way?”

"Oh..you know.." she waved her hand again. "Just busy with phone calls, meetings, stupid sleazy guys who think just because you're a woman they can have sex with you.."

Toni looked up in shock. “Excuse me? That’s happening to you?”

"What?" Veronica looked at her sharply. "N..no, no it's not..that came or wrong."

“Uh huh,” Toni agreed. “Ronnie, what’s going on?”

"It's nothing Toni...honestly" she whispered, looking down to stop the tears from falling.

“Hey, yes it is,” Toni said gently. “Look at me Veronica. You’re one of my best friends... you can talk to me okay?”

"You only just said how busy work was for you right now. I know you didn't plan on giving me an impromptu therapy session. You need a break from work, not me adding to it."

Toni flinched slightly at Veronica’s words. “You’re right... sorry. Let’s talk about something fun...”

"Right..okay.." she nodded quietly, swallowing hard. She was *seconds* away from crying and now she was worried she had upset Toni and they made things worse. She hadn't meant to, but it seemed like she had.

“Hey... you’re okay,” Toni said softly. “You’re fine, Ronnie, take a deep breath... this doesn’t count as work okay? Tell me what’s going on... friend to friend.”

"You just said you wanted to talk about something fun.." she mumbled, unable to stop her tears as her lip wobbled.

“Yeah but obviously there’s something going on here,” Toni whispered, squeezing her hand. “Fun can wait... what’s up Veronica?”

"I've made it sound worse than it is.." she prefaced, fiddling with her hands. "The whole guy thing..there was a meeting and we went out for drinks afterwards and one of the guys was rather *persistent* in his pursuit of me. And it's not like I can flash him my engagement ring anymore."

“Right,” Toni nodded. “What happened?”

"He tried it on and I had to be quite firm with him to get him to stop."

“God, Ronnie, that sucks,” Toni whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

"It's okay, it's in the past, I stopped it before it at I'm fine."

“You don’t _seem_ fine...”

"Maybe I'm not.." she whispered, her head bowed, even though it wasn't because of that.

She thanked the waiter when their food arrived, although she didn't even attempt to eat any.

“Not hungry?” Toni murmured, her hand still clutching Veronica’s.

Ronnie shook her head. "Not really."

Toni’s brows knitted together. Clearly something else was up.

"It looks good though..you enjoy yours.." she sipped her water instead.

“No... you need to eat,” Toni said gently. “You look run down as anything... food might help.”

"Maybe" she whispered, biting on her lip. She picked up her fork, forcing herself to eat.

Veronica looked positively sick. “Ronnie? You feeling okay?”

"Mmhmm" she nodded, her eyes trained firmly on her food.

Toni raised her eyebrow. “If you don’t want it, don’t feel you have to eat it.”

"I'll try.." she forced herself to eat a bit more.

Toni sighed softly but kept up the cheery chatter with her friend, keeping a close eye on her.

Ronnie ate as much as she could, her cell phone ringing in her purse. After taking the mystery call, she made her excuses and laid some money on the table. "Please tell Livvy I'm really sorry and I'll come see her soon."

“Wait, what?” Toni asked carefully. “Who was that? And it’s fine, I’ll pay, you didn’t have much anyway...”

"I'm really sorry Toni...we'll catch up soon okay?" She left quickly before Toni could ask her anything else.

Toni watched her go out, her eyes wide, before pushing the rest of her salad away and beckoning the waiter over, paying with her mind whirring.

....

It had a few weeks since Ronnie had seen Toni. She hadn't responded to the calls or texts, too caught up in her own mind to think about anyone or anything else. She hadn't been to work all week, spending it on her couch instead in sweats and an oversized hoodie.

“Cher?” Toni called out, picking up her purse from the bench and heading to the door. “Just heading out to see Ronnie... I’m kinda worried about her... I’ll be back later, okay?”

Cheryl met her wife in the hallway. "Did you hear back from her then? She hasn't responded to any of my messages.." she was worried too.

“No...so I’m heading to her apartment to check in on her...”

"That's a good idea.." Cheryl agreed. "Let me know if you need anything okay?"

Toni nodded, giving her wife a quick peck on the lips before heading out the door. “Bye! Love you!”

"You too TT." She watched her wife go, worried too about Veronica.

Toni got in the car and headed over to Veronica’s apartment, tapping smartly on the door and tilting her head up to speak into the intercom. “Hey, Ron, it’s Toni... mind if I come in? I gotta talk to you about something.”

Ronnie hadn't expected to see anyone, she looked a mess. "I uh..I'm sick. You probably don't wanna come up.." she buzzed back through the intercom. "Don't want you to catch it too."

“I’ll be fine, my immune system’s practically metallic. Please can I come up?”

Ronnie didn't say anything, but buzzed Toni up, waiting anxiously for her to arrive.

Toni wrinkled her nose as she walked in, looking around and calling out to her friend. "Ronnie?" The place looked like it hadn't been cleaned - hadn't even been _tidied_ \- in weeks.

"Toni..hi.." she mumbled, her hands in the front pocket of her hoodie.

"Hey," Toni said softly. Veronica looked _terrible_ \- gaunt and tired and _blank_. "How are you?"

"Just getting over some virus. Can I get you anything? Something to drink?"

Toni shook her head. "A virus? That sucks... are you okay?"

Ronnie led her though to the living room. "Tale a seat, ignore the mess.."

"It's fine... what's been happening? When did this virus come about?"

"I..im not sure.." she shrugged. "A while ago."

"Mmm... that's no good..." Veronica still looked sick. "Hopefully you'll be over it soon."

"Yeah, here's hoping.."

They fell into a soft silence before Toni spoke up again. "Have you had to have time off work?"

"Mmm, some.." she sat down next to Toni. "You said you needed to talk to me about something. Are you okay?"

" _I'm_ fine," Toni laughed quietly. "Are you, Veronica?"

"I will be once I'm better."

“I hope that happens soon, then,” Toni murmured, frowning. She wasn’t sure how to approach the topic she wanted to bring up without possibly triggering Veronica.

"Thanks.." she sighed softly, her eyes downcast again.

"Hey, Ronnie?"

"Hmm?" She looked up for a second.

"Something's not right here... please talk to me... that's what friends are for."

Ronnie's eyes welled with tears, which she wiped away quickly.

"Is it?" She whispered, her lip trembling.

"How about you tell me what's been going on with you lately?" Toni whispered, sitting down next to her on the couch and taking her hand.

"I don't feel okay.."she started quietly.

"Because of the virus? Or something else?" Toni pressed gently.

"I uh..well.." she twisted her hands together. "There isn't a virus."

Toni nodded. She'd thought as much. "What's going on, Ronnie?"

"I've not been myself lately."

"Both Cher and I have noticed," Toni murmured. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure.."

"Talk to me..."

"I don't think im coping very well.," she was trying not to cry. "My anxiety has felt bad lately."

"Okay," Toni said softly, leaving room for her to go on. "In what way?"

"In every way.."

"Think you can elaborate on that for me?"

"I'm struggling with sleep, food, work.."

"Food?" Toni asked gently, her mind flashing back to the way Veronica had hardly eaten at their lunch date a few weeks back, how gaunt and shadowed she looked now.

"I just never seem to feel hungry.."

"Veronica..." Toni breathed. "You need to eat... you know that... how long has this been going on?"

"A..a while I guess.." her eyes hadn't left her lap.

"How long, Ronnie?" Toni pressed, squeezing her friend's hand. "Look at me... please tell me how long."

She couldn't bring herself to look at her, she _couldn't_. "Maybe 5 weeks.."

 _Shit_ Toni thought. "Ronnie..."

"I'm okay Toni."

 _But you're so obviously not._ "Have you... have you done anything about it?"

"L..like what?"

"Like.. Like _telling_ someone... Betty - even Archie?"

"No..nobody.." she blushed.

Toni sighed. "Veronica? Can I give you a hug?" She wanted to make sure she was comfortable before she kept talking.

Veronica nodded, more tears in her eyes.

Toni wrapped her up tight, in the type of hug she gave Cheryl in the small hours of the morning when her wife woke up in cold sweats from the nightmares that still plagued the both of them.

  
This hug said _you're gonna be okay_ , it said _I got you,_ and it said _you're safe here in my arms_ , and Toni wanted to keep Veronica in it forever.

Veronica started to cry as soon as Toni hugged her.

"Shh, it's okay... let it out, tell me what you're feeling..." Toni could feel herself slipping automatically into therapist mode.

"I feel ashamed. And scared and really anxious."

"You shouldn't feel ashamed but it's normal to feel that way. Why do you think you're scared? Anxious?"

"I don't even know at this point."

"That's alright," Toni murmured. "It's gonna be okay, I promise."

"It doesn't feel like that."

"I know it doesn't... god, I know. But if you let me... I can help."

She nodded, knowing she was in desperate need of _something_. 

Toni smiled. “Good... hey, take a couple deep breaths, you’re alright.” She knew Veronica needed to calm down a bit before they kept talking.

Veronica nodded, trying to clam herself down.

“You’re doing well,” Toni soothed, rubbing her hand up and down Veronica's back.

Veronica didn't feel that way at all but she tried to focus on calming down, fiddling with the sleeves of her hoodie.

“Good job... really good job,” Toni said, but she couldn’t hide the concern in her voice. She’d never seen Veronica’s anxiety so bad.

Veronica knew she wasn't okay. She was anything but and needed help. "Please help.." she whispered, a hint of desperation in her voice.

Toni sighed, drawing her friend closer to her body and stroking fingers through her unkempt hair. “I’ve got you,” she whispered. “You’re safe here, keep breathing for me, okay?”

"How do I fix this?"

“I think we've got to find out what the whole of _this_ is first,” Toni said softly. “What else has been going on, Ronnie? Tell me everything... and then we’ll fix it. I promise we will.”

"The breakup with Archie hit me a lot worse than I thought it would. Then there's my father being...himself.." she sighed. "And work is just..busy..and stressful. And I guess I've felt pretty lonely lately and even though I've had people around I guess I've just felt really _alone_."

“I bet,” Toni nodded. “And you haven’t... haven’t talked to Archie since?” They’d work through this, one thing at a time.

"Not really no. We agreed no contact..so that's no contact. Right?"

“No...” Toni agreed. “But if it would make you feel better Ronnie, maybe you should reach out?”

She scoffed. "If I do that, we'll end up having lots of make-up sex and then I could get..." she trailed off, her cheeks flushing red. "Get...get feelings for him again." She thought of quickly, hiding what she wanted to say.

Toni raised her eyebrow. “Kinda sounds to me Miss Lodge, that you never lost them in the first place?”

Veronica shrugged, her shoulders relaxing a bit when it seemed like Toni had not picked up the way she almost slipped up and said something she couldn't take back.

“Ronnie... please be honest with me...”

"Its the truth. If I talk to him it will undoubtedly end in sex."

“It doesn’t have to, you... you’re strong.”

"I can't take that risk right now. With him or anyone else.." Toni didn't get why.

Toni frowned. “Why not?”

"it doesn't matter. I just can't okay.." she mumbled.

“It _does_ matter... keep talking to me, you're doing so well.."

"We are talking.."

“I know, I know we are...” Toni left it open, hoping Veronica would crack and tell her what was going on.

"What did Archie tell you guys about why we broke up?" If she knew that, it would help her work out what to say. If she could even say it.

“Not much...” Toni said, slightly confused. “He said - he said you weren’t feeling it anymore - which you obviously still *are* - and that you thought it was better for the two of you to be apart... which, now I think about it, is weird for a couple who‘ve been together since they were in high school...”

"Right..right.." she nodded.

“Right,” Toni agreed. “But what actually happened?”

Veronica swallowed as a lump formed in her throat and she tried not to cry.

“I’m right here,” Toni whispered. “It's okay to say whatever you need to say...”

"I..we.." she started, willing the words to come. "Something _happened_." 

Toni blew a breath out through the tight line of her lips, hating to see her friend in so much pain. “What happened Ronnie?”

Veronica felt a horrible ache in her chest, the same one she had been pushing down for _months_. "We lost something."

Toni’s heart sank. “O-Oh?” She asked, willing her voice not to crack. “Dyou think you can tell... tell me what?”

"I was pregnant.." a small sob escaped her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica talks honestly with Toni about how low she has been after her misscarriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for some heavy themes including talk of miscarriage and suicide.

Toni swore under her breath. “Oh, _Ronnie_...” she wrapped her friend tight up in her arms. “I’m so sorry.”

"Everyone always is. Misscarriages always seem to that sort of reaction out in people. Even the doctors look like they feel sorry for you."

Toni nodded. “I bet you hear that a lot, huh?” She kept her close.

"All anyone ever says. Or they tell you you'll get through it and you're strong and it's all going to be okay. But that's not the truth."

“I know,” Toni soothed gently. “I know...”

Veronica couldn't even describe the emotional pain she was feeling, she felt so lost..so hopeless.

“I’m _right_ here,” Toni murmured. She knew there was nothing to say to make Veronica feel better so she focussed on letting the brunette know she was there for her.

"Archie and I haven't spoken in weeks. I've ignored all his calls and texts."

“Excuse the therapist in me,” Toni said. “But I think this is something you need to get through together, Ronnie... he _loves_ you... he needs you.”

"I can't Toni. I can't be around him. It hurts too much."

“You’re both hurting,” Toni whispered. “And you’re gonna be for a while... but I think, maybe, if you hurt together it’s gonna get better sooner.”

"It's not. It just feels worse. I can't forget when he's around."

“It’s going to get worse before it gets better,” Toni murmured.

"How much worse can it get?"

“I don’t know, sweetie,” Toni whispered, clutching to Veronica. “I really don’t know. But he’s heartbroken Ronnie. You need each other... in good times and in bad.”

"I don't think I can get much lower. I haven't eaten for weeks, haven't been sleeping. I don't think I've ever felt WORSE in my entire life."

“I know - I know... which is why I think maybe you need to go through this _with_ someone?”

"He's better off without me.."

“He’s not Veronica! Have you seen him, lately? He’s broken. Just like you are. You need each other, Ronnie.”

Veronica simply shrugged. Nobody really needed her. Not anymore..

“I’m telling the truth,” Toni whispered. “He keeps coming over, hoping we’ve heard from you, worried out of his mind. He needs you, Ronnie.”

"Maybe he does.." she mumbled. "But maybe I don't need him.."

Toni simply raised an eyebrow. “Say that again, looking me in the eyes.”

Veronica simply shook her head. She hadn't been able to look Toni in the eyes since she arrived. She simply couldn't.

“Exactly,” Toni whispered. “You do need each other. It’s the only way to heal, Veronica.”

"Maybe there's no point in even trying to heal"

“There is. There always is.”  
  
"That's a matter of opinion."  
  
“It is,” Toni agreed. “But it’s the right opinion, Ronnie. There is point in trying to heal... you know there is.”  
  
"And if I don't want to?" She never. Normally had such dark thoughts but she had been questioning whether there was even point carrying on anymore.  
  
Toni sighed. Ronnie was in so much pain... “Then we’re gonna find a reason for you to want to.”  
  
"I don't think there is anything right now."  
  
“Maybe not right now, no. But there will be. You have to believe that.”  
  
"Maybe" she shrugged.  
  
“I know there is,” Toni whispered. “So many people care about you, okay? We all need you. Me, Cher, Betty, Archie... Josie too. And your parents.”  
  
Veronica scoffed but didn't say anything. As if her parents really cared.  
  
“They love you, Veronica. Even if they’ve gone slightly astray. You’re still their little girl, they still care.”  
  
Veronica was so emotionally low, she was struggling to take in Toni's words.  
  
“Ronnie... listen to me, okay? You’re loved.”  
  
"Doesn't change anything though does it?"  
  
“No,” Toni murmured, rubbing her hand over Ronnie’s back again. “No, it doesn’t... but it might make it easier.”  
  
"Have you ever wondered what the point is? Why we're even here?"  
  
“Yeah. Yeah, I have. And one time, when I was ready to give up, I looked at Cher and I realised that she loves me. And I love her. And together, there’s something worth staying for. Something I think you and Archie have.”  
  
"Used to have.." she corrected.  
  
“Still have,” Toni said firmly. “He’s still smitten with you, Veronica.”  
  
"I'm sure he'll find someone better."  
  
“He can’t, Ronnie! He can’t! You’re it for him, okay? He’s so in love with you.”  
  
"Correction. He was. After this..I don't think he sees it that way. I took away his chance to be a father because I couldn't do the one thing women are meant to be able to do" she broke down.  
  
Toni’s face crumpled and she gathered Veronica close. “Ronnie... that doesn’t change anything in his eyes. Archie’s a good man - he doesn’t think like that. I know he doesn’t. And just because you misscarried this time, it doesn't mean that is going to happen next time.."  
  
"I just don't think I can do it Toni. I don't know if I can do any of it anymore."  
  
“I know you can,” Toni told her, firmly believing it. 

"I messed this all up, it's my fault."

"you didn't sweetie. None of this is your fault. Misscarriages can happen to anyone at anytime. It was not your fault" she repeated.

Veronica acknowledged her words, but didn't say anything. 

"I don't know if Archie knows that."

“He does. Please, Ronnie. Just reach out to him... you’ll both benefit.”

  
"Maybe I'll try that."  
  
“Please,” Toni whispered. “Even if it’s just to make me shut up.”  
  
Veronica nodded. She wasn't sure where she was at in her head and didn't feel like she would be talking to Archie anytime soon but if she told Toni she was maybe that would be enough for her.  
  
“You gotta promise me honey,” Toni looked carefully at her. “And I’m gonna be checking with Arch.”  
  
"That really won't be necessary."  
  
“Promise?”  
  
"Uhuh" she whispered with a slight nod. Toni wouldn't know she wasn't going to.  
  
"Ronnie. I'm a therapist. I can tell when you’re not being honest with me..”  
  
Veronica tensed, but said nothing.  
  
"Ronnie? Are you scared to talk to him?"  
  
"I don't know what I am anymore Toni."  
  
"I'm gonna try really hard to help you figure it out, okay?"  
  
"That’s really kind of you, but I'm a mess Toni."She felt like she was beyond help.  
  
"All messes can be cleaned up into something beautiful." Toni reminded her. "What if I came with you to speak to Archie?"  
  
"You..you'd do that?"  
  
"Of course I would... what friends are for and all, hmm?"  
  
"Thank you.." she knew she was going to cry again. She was in a really bad place.  
  
Toni sighed gently, reaching over and just holding her tightly. Sometimes you just really needed a good,long cry.  
  
"N..no.." she tried to push Toni away. "D..don't do that..I won't be able to hold it together if you do that".  
  
"You don't have to," Toni murmured simply. "I'm not letting go."  
  
“I can't Toni."  
  
"You can, Ronnie..."  
  
"It hurts too much."  
  
"I know," Toni whispered. "Which is why I'm here, giving you the option to scream and sob and shout with no judgement, so that maybe, when you're done, you'll feel a tiny, miniscule bit better."  
  
Veronica was silent, letting Toni hold her. She wasn't sure how long it was before the tears started to fall.

  
"To..Toni.." she sobbed.  
  
"I got you... let it out..."  
  
"My..my..baby..."  
  
  
Toni just held her, letting her cry, even though hearing the total heartbreak in her friend’s voice was painful to hear.  
  
Veronica couldn't stop the crying, the heavy sobs hurting her chest.  
  
Toni rubbed her back softly, holding her tight as she cried, letting her let it all out. "Good... that's good..."  
  
"Have you ever..ever.."  
  
"Ever?" Toni asked softly.  
  
She shook her head. "Never mind."  
  
"No... please?"  
  
"Have any of your patients ever felt so low they wondered what the point in carrying on anymore is?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, they have. And it breaks my heart every single time because they're all such amazing people... with so much to live for and so many people who care about them... they just get stuck in their heads and lose sight of that. Every time it happens, I do my very best to make sure they can see properly again, that they know how much they have to live for..."  
  
"Does that work?  
  
"It takes a while... but yeah, generally it does. They - you - need to see that this isn't it, Ron. This isn't how your life ends. Your life ends when you're old and happy and have lived your best life. Not here. Not now."  
  
Veronica listened to Toni speak, trying to focus on her words.How could Toni be so sure when it all felt so hopeless.  
  
“Veronica, you’re a wonderful person. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, okay? And yeah, it seems hard right now and I get that... but it’ll get better, okay? I promise it will.”  
  
"Thank you Toni".  
  
Toni shrugged, pulling the other girl tight against her. “I’ve got you, Ronnie. I’ve always got you.”  
  
"That means more than I can ever tell you."  
  
Toni nodded. “You know I’m always here.”  
  
"Please don't tell anyone yet.." she whispered.  
  
“I won’t. It’s completely up to you.”  
  
"I know Cheryl will ask. I just..I’m not really yet."  
  
“I’ll tell her... something else,” Toni said, her chest clenching at having to lie to Cheryl but knowing she had to anyway. “That you’re not in a good place.”  
  
"I will tell her. I just don't think I can say it again just yet."  
  
“That’s perfectly okay,” Toni nodded. “In your own time.”  
  
"I didn't think I'd even be able to tell you.."  
  
“But you did. And I’m so, so proud of you. And so grateful you did.”  
  
"Probably only because you worked your magic therapist powers on me."  
  
“I’m a magician, it’s true,” Toni grinned. “Seriously, though. I’m always here for you.”  
  
"And you know I am for you. Although I'm not much help to anyone right now."  
  
“That’s okay, though. Because we’re here to help you.”  
  
"I should be paying you for your time" a tiny smile ghosted her lips.  
  
“No. No way.” Toni smiled back. “Friends, Ronnie. Remember?”  
  
"Friends" she echoed quietly, although more tears couldn't help but make their way down her cheeks.  
  
“Friends, yeah,” Toni promised. “You’re one of my best friends, Ronnie, and I care about you. I love you. And I wanna try to help.”  
  
"I don't think many people would. Not really. So thank you Toni."  
  
“Let’s agree to disagree on that,” Toni whispered, folding her friend into another tight hug. “You’re so, so welcome.”  
  
"Okay, we can agree to disagree" she nodded.  
  
Toni smiled. “Okay, then.”  
  
"What do I do now?" She still felt so lost.  
  
"What do you want to do?"  
  
"I have no clue. It feels like I can't even think straight anymore."  
  
Toni bit her lip, knowing now was definitely not the time to make a joke about being straight, and turned to Ronnie. "Right now? You hug me back and cry your heart out, if you want. And then we talk about how shitty this is and then we work towards getting better, whichever way that may be."  
  
Veronica had to believe that Toni was right. That this would get better. She wanted to feel happy, to be able to move past this and be okay again.  
  
"So which stage are we at?" Toni asked softly. "Hugs and crying? Talking about the shittiness of everything? Or working towards getting better?"  
  
"I want to know how to feel better."  
  
"It's not gonna happen overnight," Toni murmured. "But it will. With work, and love, and talking."  
  
"Talking? Do..do you think I should see someone?" She hated the idea. Didn't think she could do it.  
  
"You don't have to see someone, as such. Even just talking to me. Or to Cheryl. Or Betty. Or... Archie... Not necessarily someone professional. Just someone who loves you... who you can trust."  
  
"I guess I'm not the best at that. My daddy always taught me to trust no-one."  
  
"Your father... is an unusual man," Toni said. "You can trust me, Ronnie. And Cher. And Betty and Arch and even your mom, okay?"  
  
"Trust is..." she stopped to think about it. "It's a big thing for me."  
  
"I know," Toni whispered. "You've done so well tonight though... telling me. I'm - strangely proud of you?"  
  
"Full disclosure? I wasn't planning on telling you when you showed up tonight."  
  
"I'm so glad you did."  
  
"Can I tell you something else?"  
  
"Anything."  
  
"This is going to sound really stupid.." she warned.  
  
"I promise, nothing can sound stupid right now."  
  
"You haven't heard it yet.." she sighed, but continued anyway. "There's a weird part of brain that keeps saying to me..now that you know..now that I've made myself vulnerable, you'll use it against me somehow..to hurt me." A tear slipped down her cheek. "And I know you won't, I do Toni.." she sighed. "I don't know why I default to that."  
  
"I know... it happens to Cher too," Toni whispered. "But I promise, Ronnie, I'm not going to. I promise."  
  
"I told you it was stupid. There's no reason for me not to trust you and I know I can. I just struggle to trust anyone I guess."  
  
“I know. And that makes perfect sense. It really does, and I get it. How can I prove to you that I won’t do anything? Is there something I can do?” From both her experience and Cheryl’s, Toni knew that having proof that someone could be trusted helped indefinitely.  
  
"I don't need you to prove it. I know I can trust you.. it's just the irrational part of my brain that doesn't."  
  
“I know. But sometimes it helps?”  
  
"I guess so. Although I have no idea how you could show that."  
  
“Hmm... me neither. But if you think of something you want to do... let me know. I’ll do anything.”  
  
"Just you saying that is enough, thank you."  
  
“No problem. You’re one of my best friends okay?”  
  
"And you're mine" she hugged Toni tghtly.  
  
Toni hugged her back. “You did really well, telling me tonight, okay? I appreciate it.”  
  
"Classic therapist line right there" Veronica grinned.  
  
“Whoops... sorry.” Toni smiled. “It comes out at the worst of times.”  
  
"It's because you're so good at your job."  
  
"Why thank you, Miss Lodge."  
  
"You're so welcome"  
  
"I'm here for you, Ronnie. Every time."  
Toni's words meant the world to Veronica and for the first time in a logn time, she actually felt like things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading this! This was an emotional one to write.
> 
> Please let us know what you thought in a comment below. Your comments mean so much to us ❤️💜

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story. Part 2 will be coming soon and a little heads up... it's going to get quite heavy!


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